Shaun of the Dead Quotes (2004)
Pete: Now, I’m not saying it was you.
Shaun: I know, man…
Pete: I’m saying it was Ed.
Shaun: Right.
Pete: I can’t live like this. I mean, just look at the state of it.
Shaun: Come and get it! It’s a running buffet!
[shouts]
Shaun: All you can eat!
Shaun: [in concerned tone] Mum, have you been bitten?
Barbara: No, but Philip has.
Shaun: Oh, OK.
Ed: [concerned] Has she been bitten?
Shaun: No, but Phillip has.
Ed: Oh, OK.
David: I’m not staying here.
Liz: David, don’t, that’s suicide.
Ed: I think he should go.
Shaun: Would anyone like… a peanut?
Shaun: Mum, what if I told you that on several occasions, he touched me. [pause] That was made up, not true, shouldn’t have said that.
Ed: I don’t mind being eatin.
Jeremy Thompson: [On 'six months on' special] It’s just not something you ever expect to have to say on air: “removing the head or destroying the brain”. Extraordinary.
Liz: You, hang out with my friends? A failed actress and a twat?
Shaun: Well, that’s a bit harsh.
Liz: Your words, Shaun!
Shaun: I did NOT call Diane a failed actress!
Ed: Don’t forget to kill Philip!
Shaun: Ohh, for God’s sake! He’s got an arm off!
Shaun: Do you want anything from the shop?
Ed: Cornetto.
[after the gun fires in the pub, proving Ed correct]
Shaun: Okay. But dogs CAN look up!
[on Philip's Jaguar]
Shaun: Philip, have you still got the child-locks on?
Philip: Safety first, Shaun.
David: You still haven’t met his mum?
Shaun: Not yet!
Philip: Don’t you get on with your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: It’s not that I don’t get on with her…
David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: No! I love my mum!
Ed: I love his mum too.
Shaun: Ed!
Ed: [singing] She’s like butter!
Shaun: Ed!
[Ed pulls the car over after doing a couple of 360s]
Ed: Whoa, mama!
Shaun: Christ! What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Ed: Chill out. Everyone’s all right.
Shaun: Stop telling me to chill out!
News Reporter: To recap, it is *vital* that you stay in your homes. Make no attempt to reach loved ones, and avoid all physical contact with the assailants.
Ed: Do you believe everything you hear on TV?
David: We’re in a pub! What’re we going to do now?
Ed: We could get a round in?
David: What are we going to eat?
Dianne: Toasties!
David: Great. Saved by nibbles.
Ed: Big Al says so.
Shaun: Yeah, but Big Al says dogs can’t look up!
Shaun: You’re the one that’s gone from being a chartered accountant to Charlton Heston!
David: I’m not a chartered accountant!
Shaun: Well, you look like one!
Ed: YEAH!
David: I’m a lecturer.
Shaun: You’re a twat!
Ed: YEAH!
Shaun: [Shaun nervously addresses the rest of the electronics store staff] Now, as well as, er, Mr. Sloane being off today, I’m afraid Ash is, er, feeling a little bit, erm, under the weather. So I will be taking charge as the, erm…
Noel: …oldest…
Shaun: …senior staff member.
Shaun: All right, I’ve got a car outside, but it’s going to be a bit cramped, so has anyone got transport?
Dianne: Yes, yes!
Shaun: Great, where?
Dianne: Oh? No, well I passed my test.
Ed: I’m sorry, Shaun.
Shaun: It’s OK.
Ed: No, I’m *sorry*, Shaun.
Shaun: What?
[smells Ed's fart]
Shaun: Oh, God, that’s rotten!
Ed: I’ll stop doing it when you stop laughing!
Shaun: I am not laughing!
Ed: There’s a girl in the garden.
Shaun: Wha?
Ed: In the garden, there is a girl.
David: For a hero, you’re quite a hypocrite!
