Robots Quotes (2005)
Rodney Copperbottom: But you’re Bigweld. You can fix anything.
Bigweld: I used to think so. To me the company was about making life better, but to Ratchet, it was making money that came first. I became old-fashioned, and outmode. Ratchet beat me, and he’s gonna beat you.
Rodney Copperbottom: But…
Bigweld: The world you’re looking for no longer exists. You missed it. Find some other foolish dream.
Tim the Gate Guard: Sorry, kid. Nobody gets in. Company rules.
Rodney Copperbottom: Company ru… Then how do they hire new inventors?
Tim the Gate Guard: They don’t! Those days are over. You want my advice, mmm… come back two years ago and the job is yours.
Fender: That’s him! That’s the guy! I would know that face! I know that face, and I know that foot!
[Fender's body is pointing the wrong direction]
Fender: Psst! He’s over there, moron!
[Fender's headless body points toward Rodney]
Fender: That’s the perpetrator! He knocked my head off!
Rodney Copperbottom: Something’s wrong. There’s some-some highly polished jerk sitting in Bigweld’s chair!
Tim the Gate Guard: Yeah, and you’re sitting on the sidewalk, magentized!
Tim the Gate Guard: [laughs]
Mr. Gunk: Somebody scrape this crud off of me, and serve it to the customers.
Fender: [Inside the Sweeper] Open the door! Open the door!
[the door opens on the chop shop]
Fender: Whoa! Close the doors! Close the doors!
Ratchet: Now, Cappy, I want your department to push our new slogan. In fact, I’m moving you into the office right next to mine. We’ll be working very, very closely together on this one. Won’t that be fun?
Cappy: [Wryly] Oodles.
Rodney Copperbottom: Hey! You’re Tim from the TV show!
Tim the Gate Guard: That’s me!
Rodney Copperbottom: Well, hey, Tim! Who closed the gate? It’s never supposed to be…
Tim the Gate Guard: Yeah, okay. What do you want?
Rodney Copperbottom: Huh? Oh. I’d like to see Mr. Bigweld. I’m an inventor.
Tim the Gate Guard: Oh! Why didn’t you say so? Stand back.
[Tim opens the gate; Rodney stands in awe]
Rodney Copperbottom: Thanks.
[Starts to go in, but the gate closes suddenly]
Rodney Copperbottom: What?
Tim the Gate Guard: I gotcha! You see, ’cause you were all excited, and then boom!
[Laughs]
Tim the Gate Guard: All right, I had my laugh. Go on in.
[the gate opens; Rodney starts walking, but the gate closes again]
Rodney Copperbottom: What? Hey!
Tim the Gate Guard: [Laughing] Now that’s funny! The second time! You really think I’m going to let you in! But I’m not.
Fender: While at Robot City, guests of the Rusties – that’ us – stay at Aunt Fanny’s boarding house, where our motto is: “Beats rustin’ outside.”
[to Rodney]
Tim the Gate Guard: Boy, when you pick a lost cause, you really commit. Where do they make dreamers like you? Get lost, freak!
Fender: [taking pictures of Rodney] Big eyes! Big eyes! Give me big anime eyes!
Rodney Copperbottom: Who wants to get fixed?
[All cheer, except for a dog, who cringes]
Fender: Stick with me, kid. I know this town like the back of my hand.
[sees the back of his hand]
Fender: Hey, that’s new.
[gets hit by the giant hammer]
Rodney Copperbottom: Mr. Bigweld, are you okay?
Bigweld: I’m the prettiest girl at the Harvest Moon Ball.
Rodney Copperbottom: I’ll take that as a no.
Fender: My name used to be Bumper, but had to change it when we moved into the country.
Aunt Fanny: Oh, what happened to your friend?
Fender: He got rear-ended.
Fender: [singing] I’m singing in the oil / I’m singing in the oil / After all that work and toil / I’m just slipping in the oil / I know where I’ve been sent / I’m covered in lubricant… My life has been turned around. From now on, I’m a winner!
Fender: [Gets captured by the Sweeper] Wait a minute; you can’t do this to me! I’m *alive*!
[singing voice]
Fender: Help!
Forge: Parts, man! I need parts!
Rodney Copperbottom: You don’t look that…
[Forge falls apart]
Rodney Copperbottom: … bad?
Rodney Copperbottom: If anything goes wrong, we’ll signal each other.
Fender: What kind of signal would you want? You want something kind of subtle, like…
[Whispers gibberish]
Fender: Or…
[Barks loudly like a seal]
Fender: Oh, how about this?
Fender: [Very loudly] Caw-caw! Caw-caw! R-R-R-R-R-Ricola!
Rodney Copperbottom: Subtle.
Fender: C’mon, work with me! Work with me! More pout, less pose. That’s OK, inside of you is a fashion model just waiting to throw up.
Fender: [takes a picture of Rodney] Perfect! That’ll be 50 bucks.
Rodney Copperbottom: For what?
Fender: A beautiful picture of your first moment in Robot City.
[takes another picture]
Fender: There, I’ve captured your second moment. That’s another 50 dollars.
Piper: Am I too late for the butt-whooping?
Crank: Actually your a bit early.
Piper: Great!
Voice Box at Hardware Store: The Force is strong in this one.
Fender: [to Rodney] You can bunk with me…
[in a campy voice]
Fender: we’ll ignore the gossip!
Madame Gasket: Someone is fixing them! And they’re laughing at you, Ratchet!
Ratchet: Who? And are you sure they aren’t laughing *with* me?
Madame Gasket: Yes.
Crank: Oh, man! This is my third oil change today. Something’s wrong with me.
Fender: Is there anything for me?
Mailbox: Oh, I’ve got something for you.
[slaps Fender]
Mailbox: That’s from my sister!
Fender: I recognize the handwriting.
Aunt Fanny: But fighting never solved anything.
Bigweld: Quitting’s not so productive, either.
Watch: Don’t buy us. We’re fakes.
Bigweld: You know, your boyfriend here is quite the genius.
Cappy: Oh, he’s not my… he is?
Fender: Well, good luck in the big city. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere, and if you can’t make it here, welcome to the club.
Rodney Copperbottom: Well, then why is she called Aunt Fanny?
Fender: Couldn’t call her Aunt Booty.
Bigweld: [while being repaired by Rodney, ? la 2001: A Space Odyssey]
[sings]
Bigweld: Daaaisy… Daaaaissy… Giive mee yoour aaaanswer truuuue.
Bigweld: Gasket, you’re a sick, twisted, evil robot.
Madame Gasket: I try.
Ratchet: [as he is begging Bigweld not to fire him] The lies I’ve told! The lives I’ve ruined! Wait… this isn’t helping me!
Bigweld: A device, a thing-a-ma-bob, a do-hickey?
Cappy: [as they are being swept along by the tsunami of dominoes] What do we do?
Rodney Copperbottom: I don’t know! This is a first for me!
Loretta Geargrinder: Thanks for walking me home.
Fender: Thanks for carrying me up that hill!
Rodney Copperbottom: Crank, the idol of millions is gone, and no one seems to care. There should be an angry mob out there.
[angry mob runs past the window]
Fender: [Fender, Rodney and the others go out to investigate the mob] Wow! That was great, psychic friend! Now say, “Money should be falling from the sky.”
Lug: Hey, Fender, have you lost weight?
Crank: Lost weight? Look at… will you look at… He’s a head in a basket!
Fender: I tell ya, the things that fall off of me… it’s embarrassing!
Mr. Copperbottom: He’s got your moms eyes and my dads nose. I knew we were smart to save those parts.
Fender: [while running down a conveyor belt after putting on a new pair of legs, which reveal they have a skirt on them] This is so wrong… this is *so wrong*!
Aunt Fanny: Say hello to my dimpled friend!
Fender: [shouts] Aunt Fanny… We’re home!
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