James Carter: Who died, Lee?
Lee: You!
James Carter: Detective Yu?
Lee: Not Yu, you!
James Carter: Who?
Lee: You!
James Carter: Who?
Lee: Do you understand the words that are a-coming out of my mouth?
James Carter: Don’t nobody understand the words that are comin’ out of your mouth.
James Carter: Lee, let me introduce you to Carter’s new theory of criminal [...]

Pete: Now, I’m not saying it was you.
Shaun: I know, man…
Pete: I’m saying it was Ed.
Shaun: Right.
Pete: I can’t live like this. I mean, just look at the state of it.
Shaun: Come and get it! It’s a running buffet!
[shouts]
Shaun: All you can eat!
Shaun: [in concerned tone] Mum, have you been bitten?
Barbara: No, but Philip [...]

Avi: Tony.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What?
Avi: Look in the dog.
Bullet Tooth Tony: What do you mean?
Avi: I mean open him up.
Bullet Tooth Tony: It’s not as if it’s a tin of baked beans! What do you mean “open him up”?
Turkish: What’s that?
Tommy: It’s me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There’s a gun in your trousers. What’s a [...]

Evan: You changed your name to McLovin?
Seth: It doesn’t have a first name, it just says McLovin!
Evan: The guys either going think ‘here’s another guy with a fake ID’, or here’s McLovin, 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor.
Fogell: I am McLovin.
Seth: Momma’s making a pubie salad, and she wants some Seth’s own dressing.

Officer Slater: Ethnically, [...]

Helen Parr: Everyone is special, Dash.
Dash Parr: Which is another way of saying no one is.
Edna Mode: Luck favors the prepaired.
Edna Mode: I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now.
Dash: We’re dead! We’re dead! We survived but we’re dead!
Edna Mode: My God, you’ve gotten fat. Come in, come, come!
Mr. Incredible: Reliving the glory [...]

[after Crewe decides to come back to the game]
Turley: I’m glad you’re back, now I don’t have to stab you.
[after inmates score touchdown on trick play]
Guard Lambert: Is that legal?
Paul ‘Wrecking’ Crewe: Yes, it is.
Guard Lambert: Is that a touchdown?
Paul ‘Wrecking’ Crewe: Yes, it is.
Guard Lambert: Oh, goddamn it!
Paul ‘Wrecking’ Crewe: [to the [...]

Seth Plummer: Oh, bite me.
Shane Wolfe: [to Zoe's boyfriend, Scott] Give me twenty!
[Scott pulls out his wallet]
Shane Wolfe: I mean push-ups!
Shane Wolfe: [to Mrs. Plummer] Ma’am, I’ve dealt with…
[Gary bites his ear]
Shane Wolfe: OW! Oh my God!
Julie Plummer: Sorry! That’s Gary.
Seth Plummer: [Shane kicks in Seth's bedroom door - Seth exits the bathroom] Oh my [...]

Jessie: [To Woody] YEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! ITS YOU! ITS YOU! ITS REALLY YOU!!!!
Jessie: You never forget kids like Emily, or Andy, but they forget you.
Mr. Potato Head: Pizza, anyone?
Rex: I can’t look! Could somebody please cover my eyes?!
Slinky Dog: I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.
Emperor Zurg: We meet again Buzz [...]

Claire Cleary: What is true love?
John Beckwith: True love is your soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.
Claire Cleary: It’s a little cheesy but I like it.
John Beckwith: I read it on a bumper sticker!
Chazz Reinhold: Yeah, her boyfriend just died. In a hang-gliding accident! What an idiot! What a loser!
[sarcastically imitating dead boyfriend]
Chazz Reinhold: [...]

Male Coffee Shop Customer: (Nick has just talked Lola into a date) That was inspiring!
Nick Marshall: I know.
Nick Marshall: I don’t want that to be it. I don’t want that to be it at all.
Darcy McGuire: Then don’t let a little thing like me firing you stand in your way.
Nick Marshall: There’s way too much [...]