Movie Quotes

Mark Loring: Why does everyone think yellow is gender neutral? I never knew a guy with a yellow room.

Juno MacGuff: …like it would be friggin’ sweet if no one hit me.

Juno MacGuff: And Bleeker is very good in… chair!

Juno MacGuff: I’m pregnant.
Paulie Bleeker: What should we do?
Juno MacGuff: Well, I should just… I was thinking I’d just nip it in the bud before it gets worse. Because they were talking about in health class how pregnancy… It can often lead to an infant.
Paulie Bleeker: Typically, yeah… Yeah that’s what happens when our mothers and teachers get pregnant.

Mark Loring: Vanessa gave me my own room for all my stuff.
Juno MacGuff: She gave you… your own room in… in your whole house? For your… for your stuff? Wow, she’s got you on a long leash, Mark.

Juno MacGuff: I never realize how much I like being home unless I’ve been somewhere really different for a while.

Juno MacGuff: [showing ultrasound photo] It’s a baby. It’s your baby. It kinda looks like it’s waving, you know, like it’s saying, “Hey Vanessa, will you be my mom?”
Vanessa Loring: Aww, it kind of does.

Juno MacGuff: Are you honestly and truly going to prom with Katrina Devore?
Paulie Bleeker: Uhh… hi…

Juno MacGuff: I need to know that it’s possible that two people can stay happy together forever.

Vanessa Loring: What’s wrong? Why are you crying?
Juno MacGuff: I’m not crying, I’m just allergic to fine home furnishing.

Juno MacGuff: Silencio, Old Man!

Juno MacGuff: My dad had this weird obsession with Roman or Greek mythology or something and he decided to name me after Zeus’ wife.
Mark Loring: Zeus’ wife?
Juno MacGuff: Yeah and I mean Zeus had tons of lays but I’m pretty sure Juno was his only wife. And apparently she was supposed to be super beautiful but really mean, like Diana Ross.

Juno MacGuff: I’m losing my faith in humanity.
Mac MacGuff: Think you can narrow it down for me?
Juno MacGuff: I guess I wonder sometimes if people ever stay together for good.
Mac MacGuff: You mean like couples?
Juno MacGuff: Yeah, like people in love.
Mac MacGuff: Are you having boy troubles? I gotta be honest; I don’t much approve of dating in your condition, ’cause well… that’s kind of messed up.
Juno MacGuff: Dad, no!
Mac MacGuff: Well, it’s kind of skanky. Isn’t that what you girls call it? Skanky? Skeevy?
Juno MacGuff: Please stop now.
Mac MacGuff: [persisting] Tore up from the floor up?
Juno MacGuff: Dad, it’s not about that. I just need to know if it’s possible for two people to stay happy together forever, or at least for a few years.
Mac MacGuff: It’s not easy, that’s for sure. Now, I may not have the best track record in the world, but I have been with your stepmother for 10 years now and I’m proud to say that we’re very happy.
[Juno nods]
Mac MacGuff: In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.
Juno MacGuff: I sort of already have.
Mac MacGuff: Well, of course! You’re old D-A-D! You know I’ll always be there to love and support you no matter what kind of pickle you’re in… Obviously
[nods to her belly]
Juno MacGuff: I need to go out somewhere just for a little while. I don’t have any homework and I swear I’ll be back by ten.
Mac MacGuff: You were talking about me right?

Mac MacGuff: I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when.
Juno MacGuff: I don’t know what kind of girl I am.

Mac MacGuff: Liberty Bell, if you put one more Baco on that potato, I’m gonna kick your little monkey butt.

Vijay: You should grow a mustache?
Paulie Bleeker: I can’t.
Vijay: Yeah, me neither.

Gerta Rauss: So how far along are you?
Juno MacGuff: I’m a junior.

Paulie Bleeker: Oh, no. We should just makeout instead. La la la.

Juno MacGuff: Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine’s Day. And I’m like, “Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.”

Bren: When you move out I’m getting two Weimaraners!
Juno MacGuff: WHOA DREAM BIG!
Bren: Oh, go fly a kite!

Juno: I’m pregnant.
Leah: What? Honest to blog?
Juno: Yeah. It’s Bleeker’s.
Leah: It’s probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?
Juno: This is not a food baby all right? I’ve taken like three pregnancy tests, and I’m forshizz up the spout.
Leah: How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests?

Su-Chin: [protesting in front of the abortion clinic] All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned!

Mark Loring: [to Juno] You are so young.

Juno MacGuff: You should try talking to it. ‘Cause, like, supposedly they can hear you even though it’s all, like, ten-thousand leagues under the sea.

Mac MacGuff: And this, of course, is Juno.
Mark Loring: Like the city in Alaska?
Juno MacGuff: No.
Mark Loring: No? Hon, shall we sit down and get to know one another?
Vanessa Loring: Oh, I thought I would get some drinks. What would anyone like? I have Pellegrino, or Vitamin Water or Orange Juice or…
Juno MacGuff: I’ll have a Maker’s Mark, please. Up.
Mac MacGuff: She’s kidding. Junebug has a wonderful sense of humor. Just one of her many genetic gifts.

Vanessa Loring: You think you’re really going to do this?
Juno MacGuff: Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I’m guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.
Vanessa Loring: That’s great.
Mark Loring: Keep it in the oven.

Juno MacGuff: As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. And, I know that people are supposed to fall in love before they reproduce, but… I guess normalcy isn’t really our style.