Movie Quotes

Senior Ed Bloom: Truth is, I’ve always been thirsty.

Edward: Now, you may well ask, since this lady fish wasn’t the ghost of a thief, why did it strike so quick on gold when nothing else would attract it? That was the lesson I learned that day, the day my son was born. He focuses his words on Sandra. This story is — and has always been — about her more than anyone. Sometimes, the only way to catch an uncatchable woman is to offer her a wedding ring.

Young Ed Bloom: Sandra Templeton, I love you and I WILL marry you.

Will: In telling the story of my father’s life, it’s impossible to separate the fact from the fiction, the man from the myth. The best I can do is to tell it the way he told me. It doesn’t always make sense, and most of it never happened. But that’s what kind of story this is.

Senior Ed Bloom: They say, when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true. What they don’t tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.

Edward: Having a kid changes everything. I mean, there’s the diapers and the burping and the midnight feedings…
Will: Did you do any of that?
Edward: No, but I hear it’s terrible. Then you spend years trying to corrupt and mislead this child, fill its head with nonsense and still it turns out perfectly fine.
Will: You think I’m up for it?
Edward: You learned from the best.

Young Ed Bloom: There’s a time when a man needs to fight and a time when he needs to accept that his destiny’s lost, the ship has sailed and that only a fool will continue. The truth is I’ve always been a fool.

Will Bloom: You know about icebergs, dad?
Senior Ed Bloom: Do I? I saw an iceberg once. They were hauling it down to Texas for drinking water. They didn’t count on there being an elephant frozen inside. The wooly kind. A mammoth.
Will Bloom: Dad!
Senior Ed Bloom: What?
Will Bloom: I’m trying to make a metaphor here.
Senior Ed Bloom: Well you shouldn’t have started with a question, because most people want to answer questions. You should’ve started with “the thing about icebergs is.”

Jenny: I loved a man who could never love me back. I was living in a fairytale.

Josephine: Oh, so this is a tall tale?
Senior Ed Bloom: Well, it’s not a short one.

Sandra Bloom: You don’t even know me.
Young Ed Bloom: I have the rest of my life to find out.

Amos Calloway: I haven’t seen a customer this depressed since the elephant sat on that farmer’s wife!
Amos Calloway: [laughs, beat]
Amos Calloway: Depressed?
[Karl laughs]
Amos Calloway: See, the big guy likes it.
Young Ed Bloom: I just saw the woman I’m going to marry, and I lost her.

Karl: Friend, what happened to your shoes?
Young Ed Bloom: [Looking down at his feet] They kinda got ahead of me.

Beamen: Welcome to ya. What’s your name?
Edward: Edward Bloom.
Beamen: Bloom like a flower?
Edward: Yes.
Beamen: Oh. Here! Right here. Edward Bloom. We weren’t expecting you yet.
Edward: You were expecting me?
Beamen: Not yet.
Mildred: You must have taken a shortcut.
Edward: I did. It nearly killed me.
Beamen: Mmm-hmm. Life’ll do that to you. And truthfully, the long way is easier, but it’s longer.
Mildred: Much longer.

Senior Sandra Bloom: I don’t think I’ll ever dry out.

Will Bloom: Church people drive too slow.

[Ed and Norther are in line at a bank together]
Young Ed Bloom: What are you doing here?
Norther Winslow: I’m robbin’ this place!