Adaptation Quotes (2002)
John Laroche: Who’s gonna play me? I think I should play me.
Donald Kaufman: McKee says we all have to realize we write in a genre, so we must find originality within that genre. Did you know that there hasn’t been a new genre since Fellini invented the mockumentary…? My genre’s thriller, what’s yours?
Donald Kaufman: You are what you love, not what loves you.
John Laroche: I’m probably the smartest person I know.
Charlie Kaufman: The script I’m starting, it’s about flowers. No one’s ever done a movie about flowers before. So there are no guidelines…
Donald Kaufman: What about “Flowers for Algernon”?
Charlie Kaufman: Well, that’s not about flowers. And it’s not a movie.
Donald Kaufman: Ok, I’m sorry, I never saw it.
Susan Orlean: It’s over. Everything, I did everything wrong. I want my life back. I want it back before everything got fucked up. I want to be a baby again. I want to be new. I WANT TO BE NEW.
Charlie Kaufman: To begin… To begin… How to start? I’m hungry. I should get coffee. Coffee would help me think. Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee. Coffee and a muffin. So I need to establish the themes. Maybe a banana nut. That’s a good muffin.
Susan Orlean: I suppose I do have one unembarrassed passion. I want to know how it feels to care about something passionately.
Robert McKee: I’ll tell you a secret. The last act makes the film. Wow them in the end, and you’ve got a hit. You can have flaws, problems, but wow them in the end, and you’ve got a hit. Find an ending, but don’t cheat, and don’t you dare bring in a deus ex machina. Your characters must change, and the change must come from them. Do that, and you’ll be fine.
Donald Kaufman: Listen, I need a cool way to kill people. Don’t worry, for my script.
Charlie Kaufman: I don’t know that kind of stuff.
Donald Kaufman: Oh, come on, man, please? You’re the genius.
Charlie Kaufman: Here you go. The killer’s a literature professor. He cuts off little chunks from his victims’ bodies until they die. He calls himself “the deconstructionist”.
Donald Kaufman: I’m pitching my script today.
Charlie Kaufman: Please don’t say pitch.
Charlie Kaufman: Mr. McKee? I’m Charlie Kaufman. You yelled at me this morning.
Robert McKee: I need more.
Charlie Kaufman: You and I share the same DNA. Is there anything more lonely than that?
Amelia Kavan: I love you too, you know.
Donald Kaufman: A little push, push in the bush.
John Laroche: Darkness falls, bad things happen.
Charlie Kaufman: Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Charlie Kaufman: Mr. McKee! I’m the guy you yelled at today.
Robert McKee: I need more.
Susan Orlean: Change is not a choice.
John Laroche: You know why I like plants?
Susan Orlean: Nuh uh.
John Laroche: Because they’re so mutable. Adaptation is a profound process. Means you figure out how to thrive in the world.
Susan Orlean: [pause] Yeah but it’s easier for plants. I mean they have no memory. They just move on to whatever’s next. With a person though, adapting almost shameful. It’s like running away.
John Laroche: Darling, I don’t know what’s come over you.
Susan Orlean: You came all over me.
John Laroche: My goodness.
Donald Kaufman: Is like technology versus horses.
Charlie Kaufman: …But a little fantastic and fleeting and out of reach.
Robert McKee: Then what happens?
Charlie Kaufman: That’s the end of the book. I wanted to present it simply without big character arcs or sensationalizing the story. I wanted to show flowers as God’s miracles. I wanted to show that Orlean never saw the blooming ghost orchid. It was about disappointment.
Donald Kaufman: I’m putting in a chase sequence. So the killer flees on horseback with the girl, the cop’s after them on a motorcycle and it’s like a battle between motors and horses, like technology vs. horse.
Charlie Kaufman: And they’re still all one person, right?
Matthew Osceola: I can see your sadness. It’s lovely.
Susan Orlean: I’m just tired, that’s all. That’s my problem. So, maybe we could chat a little bit, and, you know, get some background for…
Matthew Osceola: I’m not going to talk to you much. It’s not personal. It’s the Indian way.
Caroline Cunningham: It’s like a regular brain factory in here.
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